Quarterly Clarkisms and Andoozies

08/09/10
(Clark dives headfirst into Tanner’s stomach on the couch)
Tanner: Ow Clark, don’t do that.
Clark: That was a love tap with my head.

(During an FHE lesson on the Savior)

Cherylyn: … and then Jesus died because people made bad choices.
Clark: Jesus died!?
Cherylyn: Yep.
Clark: Was Jesus a good guy or a bad guy?
Cherylyn: He was a good guy. He was the best guy that ever lived.
Clark: Then why did you guys kill him?
Cherylyn: Um, we didn’t kill him.
Clark: Then who killed him?
Cherylyn: The bad guys killed him.
Clark: Then do the bad guys help us get to Heavenly Father?
Cherylyn: Ummm.....

Andrew: Dada, can I push you [sic] button!?

Clark: Lets play superheros!!
Tanner: Okay, I’m Batman! Na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!
Clark: No, I’m Batman!
Tanner: Okay, then I’m Superman!
Andrew: No, I Supa man!!
Clark: Yeah, Andrew’s Superman.
Tanner: Fine, then I’m Spiderman.
Clark: No, you’re Ironman! You have fire and your whole body is fire.
Tanner: Wait, if I’m Ironman, wouldn’t my whole body be iron?
Clark: No, you have fire all over your whole body.
Tanner: Okay, then I should be called Fireman!
Clark: Okay.
Tanner: So is Mama Wonderwoman?
Clark: No, she’s the princess!

08/22/10
Clark: Mom, I took a really long nap.
Cherylyn: You did?
Clark: Yeah, it was really boring.

08/28/10
(Clark playing the Wii using a remote with a dying battery, which keeps shutting off)
Clark: Grrr, this remote keeps being mysterious!

08/30/10
Cherylyn: Clark, go get your PJs on.
Clark: But can I still play?
Cherylyn: Yes, after you get your PJs on, you can play for a few minutes.
Tanner: For two minutes.
Clark: No! For five minutes!
Tanner: Nope, two minutes.
Clark: Dad! Mama said five minutes.
Tanner: No she didn’t.
Clark: Dad, you can’t tell me two minutes.
Tanner: Oh yes I can, I’m in charge.
Clark: Mom, can you be in charge of dad tonight so that he doesn’t say two minutes?!

09/12/10
(after we just finished putting the boys to bed)
Clark: Oh wait, I need to go peepee!
Tanner/Cherylyn: (sigh).
Andrew: I need go peepee too!
Clark: Oh yeah! We can make an X!

09/26/10
(Clark playing a video game in which his character squeezed between two bad guys, narrowly avoiding death)
Tanner: Whoa! How did you squeeze between those two guys?
Clark: I squeezed because of my skills!

09/30/10
(After Audrey tipped over sideways in a reclining chair – don’t worry, no babies were harmed)
Cherylyn: Clark, can you help pick Audrey up?
Clark: (grunting while lifting Audrey), but she’s sooo heavy at zero (years old)!