Silence is Golden

Today we met some of our friends to go swimming. I gave the boys a lecture before we left about the behavior I expected out of them. They seemed eager and willing to please at the time. When we got there, before I could even get Andrew into his swim diaper, he had pooped in the current diaper he was wearing. Cue someone else helping me with Audrey while I dealt with that mess. Then I tried to swim with Andrew while Clark played inside at the play area where they have a nanny on duty, but Audrey wouldn't cooperate and I had to hop out of the pool and nurse her while she and I both sweated it out in the 90 degree weather...AWESOME. Then Clark came out and wanted to swim and within five minutes, he had fallen from one of the steps in the pool and took with him on his way in another one of his new girl friends and they both started gasping and drowning.

Cue me and her mother running in to save them both while I was still holding a fussy Audrey.

We decided to all move to the kiddy pool where we were sure no one would get injured or drown...but everyone underestimates Andrew's abilities. Even though the water only came up to his waist, I had to save him TWICE....still while holding Audrey. Also, I think I told Andrew at least 50 times to stop whining throughout our little excursion to the pool. In the meantime, I had also told Clark numerous times not to run around the pool.

He didn't listen.

He fell once and barely missed his head on a sharp concrete edge.

Phew.

Then we had maybe five minutes of peace, and then he decided he didn't want to give up a toy he had STOLEN from one of his cute new little girl friends and he hopped out of the pool and his feet came right out from under him. This time he really konked his head good. Lots of weeping and wailing ensued and outwardly me trying not to be too angry with my child for hurting himself due to disobedience...while at the same time being inwardly happy that he got what he deserved and maybe he will think twice next time. What a NICE mother I am.

Decided it was time to go.

While changing the boys...Andrew had pooped AGAIN, this time in the swimmer diaper...which is almost the worst thing EVER. Finally get everybody changed and sorted and head out in a chorus of whines and moans about being hungry and not wanting to leave etc. etc. It doesn't matter whether you are in Virginia, Indonesia, or in Outer Mongolia...days like this are the pits of parenthood. I only write this so that when I am 50 and try to act like I have it all figured out, I will be set straight so that the next generation doesn't think they are utter failures because they had a bad day with their kids. See, I really do have their best interest at heart, this isn't just for venting...no really!

Anyway, I get everybody home, sit Clark and Andrew down on the couch and explain in a very calm yet stern voice WHY neither of them will be having ice cream after their lunch. More weeping and wailing...and maybe even a little gnashing of teeth thrown in there for good measure. Serve lunch. Serve up my boys to their beds. Nurse Audrey to sleep, and now it is completely silent. It's the best noise I have heard all day.