VA Safety Inspections

I like most things about Virginia, but there are a few things, and one thing especially that I despise...Safety Inspections. Ever since we moved here, me + vehicle + the state of VA = DISASTER.

I believe I took 3 or 4 trips to the DMV when we first moved here. 4 if you count when the lady put me at the back of the line because I didn't fill out one of the forms. Enter the Monte into the picture a year later...need I say more? Alright, I will anyway. My understanding is that in most states, when you have an emissions and safety inspection, provided you don't have some clunker that emits black smoke from your exhaust that could cloud the view of the driver behind you, the car would pass. In Virginia? NOT SO! You would think they go over every inch of the car with a fine comb. I had the naivete to take the Monte in for it's inspection, and we failed on three points. And in Virginia, when you fail a safety inspection, they make you feel bad about it. They put a big ol' sticker with a circle with a slash through it on your windshield with the words REJECTED on it. We had two small lights out (you know the one's on the sides of the car that no one ever sees) and the driver window wouldn't roll down...for them. I say for them, because the driver window had a mind of its own. It worked perfectly until you needed to roll it down to pay a toll, or in this case, pass a safety inspection. And I have to ask the question here: What does a driver window not rolling down have to do with safety? Someone, please give me a scenario where my driver window would be my only saving grace against utter destruction! Besides the obvious embarrassment of having to open the door to pay a toll because my window won't roll down and feeling about as white trash as you can get, what is the big deal?
Anyway, you have 30 days in the state of Virginia to fix what it was that caused your REJECTION, but it won't stop you from being pulled over. I was pulled over by a cop twice within the thirty days, probably because you can see the big fat REJECT sticker from a mile away. They came, they checked the date, and let me go. Then, I got pulled over for a third time after the thirty days was up because we were still trying to get the motor for a new window installed. Did the officer feel bad that not only was I pregnant but I was driving around with part of my door disassembled from us trying to fix it ourselves? No...and he slapped me with a fine. To make another long story short, we got the window fixed and another year came and went.

We took the Saturn in for its inspection the other day, and I thought there would be no problems. NOT SO! We received a phonecall saying "Your fog lamps are out, and the law in the state of Virginia clearly states that while a vehicle is not required to have fog lamps, if you DO have them, they must work properly". Are you joking? He wasn't. I looked up the law online myself, it's section 11 of Virginia State code 19VAC30-70-160. We got that fixed, for a price I might add, and planned to take the Monte in this week. What were the CHANCES that the monte would pass? Within the last year, the Monte's automatic gear shift handle broke off...I don't know how something like that happens, but it did. It still worked, but we would have to jimmy rig it every time we got in the car. Our only option to trying to fix it was with liquid nails, so I did that a few days before we took it in, and all the while I was glueing and pressing it back into place I was murmuring "You won't get me this time Virginia". We took the car in, and we didn't hear from the place all day, which made me think something big was wrong with it. We finally called them to see if it was done and it was. IT PASSED! Shock of the century! I feel like I outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted the state on this one...so I guess that makes the score Virginia-9 Nielson's-1.

My new and improved gear shift! (My father should be proud)

Notice you can still see the remnants of the Rejection sticker from one year ago.
The Monte will forever be scarred.